ahm….you win. one hill wid a 92 letter name…and swear words!

so, this hill in new zealand has landed in the Guinness Book of world record for having one of the longest names in the world.

are ya read for it?

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu

yes. that’s the name.

no i’m not kidding.

It’s the maori version of the name and it means:

the summit where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, the climber of mountains, the land-swallower who travelled about, played his nose flute to his loved one. <— how di man knee drop een?

tek een di pronunciation <—i know i heard her say thai muthaf*cka. I KNOW IT. you listen

but wait!

that’s not the longest version of the name. That is a measly 85 letters long.

Holla at

Taumata-whakatangihanga-koauau-o-Tamatea-haumai-tawhiti-ure-haea-turi-pukaka-piki-maunga-horo-nuku-pokai-whenua-ki-tana-tahu, has 105 letters and means The hill of the flute playing by Tamatea — who was blown hither from afar, had a slit penis, grazed his knees climbing mountains, fell on the earth, and encircled the land — to his beloved

a me one see di part bout him penis. now i am not here to bring down other people’s cultures, but if your penis is slit, might that not be  a venereal disease? and did we really have to immortalise the man business like that?<–yeh, i know, cultural differences, please climb down from your anthropological high horse, i don’t need the sermon

him couldn’t just tek some pill and move on like everybody else? somebody inna di community never like him and decide fi put him pon blast fi all eternity. now that’s bitterness. maybe the beloved who him a blow flute to. i suspect some bun was involved. and not even digging off his knees and walking his feet to bloody stumps could melt her heart. hush me bwoy. it rough

all who think they’re interesting because they come from gimme-me-bit or balaclava

please sit down

yu nah seh nuttn yet

until you come from thaimuthaf*cka hill

i need you to be silent

oh and yes, they shorten it to taumata for everyday use. you imagine if them never have a short form and yu bredren text yu and ask yu weh yu deh? da one deh name credit DONE

check the wikipedia article here for the shade free version of this story

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8 responses

  1. ROFL…Credit DUN…Woieeee…Good stuff Carla…GOOOD. STUFF.
    And yes…me si di part bout di man penis to…dem buss him secret. I thought it was rough when that Volcano in Iceland was erupting…NUBADDY try fi pronounce it pon di news, it was just “the Volcano in iceland” xD

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