every now and again Jango barfs up something truly…horrendous
into my play list.
behold i give you Jewleyouse Merance
i know you thought you read jewelrylouse <–which may be appropriate given the sheer effery that is this song
but this is just a highly bastardized version of julius
imagine you took a real name, distressed it like jeans, bejewelled it like a cell phone and then rolled it around in the mud for a farm fresh look
the end result would be jewleyouse.
Here’s the link to the
epic piece of friggery song
the song is entitled walking like a penguin and its about..you guessed it, that special brand of loving that leaves a woman limping in the morning
the fact that i’m from the country that brought us ‘tump har up’ does nothing to numb the pain this song causes
he gon’ leave your girlfriend walking like a penguin
he gon leave you calling like your girlfriend
he gon’ leave his career on jango and never dare take it into the real world. this is my solemn prayer
when did we declare war on the vagina?
when did it become a gentility no fly zone down there?
when did the aim become, not to give a woman pleasure, but to decimate her genitals?
now, don’t get me wrong, rough sex and all the things that come along with it have their place in the pantheon of freakiness that is human expression
but at the end of the day i shouldn’t be walking as something other than myself.
and certainly not like happy feet. what the rass. after me nuh live pon ice?
therefore i will not be icing my lady bits when you are done.
di song nuh even sound good
a dat bun me enuh
beat soun like when pickney tek stick an beat milo tin
wid him basic school rhymes
mister mediocre rapper
yu waan be great?
try do it without the aid of the destruction of my vagina
i cyaan tell when last smaddy woulda even let yu near theirs
if these are the best lyrics you have
this goes fi you too