things i enjoy -competitive illness

yu ever meet one of those people
no matter what you can’t be sicker than them?
if you say you have a headache
them have migraine
if you say you have a toothache
one of theirs has turned completely black and is about to fall out
if you say you have a belly ache
them have bleeding ulcer
if yu say yu have allergies
them have ‘sinus’ so bad they can’t even keep down a meal
and they will go so far as to start coughing to prove their point
the sinus drip is so awful that not even tea them can keep down
if they drink a cup of tea
they have to have a mint ball after
(but what do you use to keep down the mint ball?)

me nuh know
a me one feel seh sickness a summn weh yu can tek a ‘to each his own’ philosophy
i’m not trying to rack up the sick points
because unlike farmville cash
what me can use them to do?
dem cyaan but nuttn but sympathy…
me confuse

and me love the part where as yu mention where hurting you
them grab the same place pon dem body
and start wrinkle up di face
fi show di agony
dem inna di grips a di pain
they have just been trying to be brave
and bear it out
but now you me mention it
them feel faint again
i wonder if is a jamaican thing
or people a have sick-off a farrin too.
woooiiii if i laugh i dead
(this is where one of them chimes in that the laughed this morning, and have already died, they are in fact a zombie right now)


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