things that amuse me…no da one yah a kill me! more broadcast message mania

So the young lady who is responsible for about 90% of my BBM spam, aka broadcast messages, has just broadcasted the ‘I’m tired of pointless broadcast messages’ broadcast message.

If this is not living proof say she nuh read before she forward me nuh name wah me name.

Just in case you live in some sort of telecommunications utopia where people don’t junk mail your chat windows, here’s the essence of the message….

I’d like to go on record as saying that both the people who sent me this message, have purple messages as the most recent item in their chat windows

But I digress

So….di message…and why its ironic she sent it to me
———–

Ok. People, I’m sick and tired of the useless broadcasts that are sent on a daily basis! Allow me to clear the air on this issue with some pointers:

1. Never send religious message chains! Seriously, it doesn’t work! 8-| It just shows your hypocrisy. God won’t reject you or be angry with you if u don’t forward a darn message!
<—she sends three of these a day. The message she sent before this one, was a 'you will be struck by lightning if you don't send to 10 friends' message

2. If your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife or husband cheats on you, please…… understand that no one is interested to know that you and your partner broke up and you’re calling him a f*****g retard! So don’t write it in your status 8-|
<—if di gyal go piss she put it inna har status. Me can personally tell when her social life a suffer based on status updates or lack thereof. But on another note….to author of this message…my window a my business. If me nuh broadcast it, yu cyaan stop me.

3. You may want to ping someone real badly but hey, respect someone’s “BUSY” status if it’s up. And people, please don’t try to act busy by putting on ur so called “busy” status but yet still you update every few seconds! 8-|
<—again, to the author….me say me busy…me never say wah me busy a do. And a nuh fi you come cast judgment pon me busy-ness. Bright!

4. For flips sake! Blackberry hackers and viruses don’t exist. The Blackberry and I-Phone are virus free technologies! X_X
<—she send me at least 5 anti virus broadcast message.

5. No “dead woman” is gonna haunt or sleep with you if u don’t resend this message… (but I sure hope you get something from it)
<—all me confused…yu have duppy broadcast message a go roun? Maybe me contact list nuh so bad after all. Once again, me waan talk to di original author. Yu see di problem wid di incessant re-broadcasting? Me nuh even know to whom me mus address me problem. As of now me a go ask people fi please treat dem broadcast message like academic writing and put dem full name and ID number pon it

6. There is no phone company in the world! that’s gonna give a poor family some money everytime you broadcast “this” msg! 8-|X_X
<— THIS A DI SAME RASS GYAL WHO ME ASK WHICH PHONE COMPANY A GO GI DI MONEY (in an effort to highlight the senselessness of the broadcast) AND SHE SAY SHE NUH KNOW BUT SHE REBROADCAST CAW SHE NUH WAAN DI BAD KARMA OR BAD VIBES!!!!

7. New BBM icons WILL NOT get activated by broadcasting messages! X_X In fact, nothing can ever be activated or deactivated by broadcasting a message! /:)
<—she sen me di one wid di 50 million flag and fortyleventeen smiley

8. THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE!!! Bbm providers are NOT going to “delete” or “remove” your account if you don’t broadcast a stupid msg!!! 8-| X_X
<—she lives in constant nail biting fear of having her account, that she bought and paid for, being deactivated so, you guessed it, she's sent me these too

So, to all of you who agree, tell your other contacts. Those of you who are guilty as charged………. please! stop raping bbm! ;)(y)
———-
Now, that is what 7 out of a possible 8 infractions. 6 of which she’s committed at least once within the past week.
What the frack?
she nuh realise wah she jus do?

All me can do a laugh and wait pon morning fi light so she can send me Bible verse and remind me say if a joke me woulda forward it, and seh God say if me deny him pon BBM him a go deny me a di pearly gates.

Kiss me backside teeth

Oh, and I’d like to go on record as saying that sending a broadcast message to tell people to stop sending broadcast messages, is very much like blowing a mans brains out to show him how wrong murder is. Worse when the message has a built in admonition that it SHOULD be rebroadcasted….yes that’s what the last paragraph, in essence, does. Check the italics for a little added emphasis action.
Is like the bbm version of the drake/minaj marriage. Or the frikkin friday song
Yes?
Oui?
Si.

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