i don’t know how these tings find me either but suffice to say i need new friends.
so……this is the new treatment for baby showers/baby welcome paries/christening.
that ol’ stork and rattle treatment can go dead a bush.
same ting wid di knitted booties or invitations with actual babies on it
this whole inna smaddy backyard ting…and inna smaddy living room ting
right now wah we need is a big ol’ night club fi celebrate di likkle bundle of joy.
mek him crawl pon di stainless steel floor and ketch hepatitis inna di club bathroom.
please note di part weh it seh after party starts 10pm (NO KIDS ALLOWED)
the last thing you would want is those pesky mothers carrying their kids to celebrate the birth of your own.
so mek me ask yu now…when yu carry di pickney dem from 5pm and dem enjoy up demself and palance, wah yu do wid dem come 10 o’clock when dem tun inna party leper
nobody nah leff fi go carry dem home
and neither parent will opt to miss the party
so i suspect the VIP will be filled with little kids curled up fast asleep on them mummy winter jacket.
they will then wake up sometime around 12 and well…how else do you learn where babies come from?
seeing it in live dagger-vision action on the dance floor.
life is your classroom!
me nah go tek on di girl pon di flyer….a fi har sittn, she can do wahever she waan do wid har belly
me plan fi be nude in silhouette in mine.
it’s not skanky if you’re pregnant!
please note…when my baby drop…a tony matterhorn and di immortal stone love me want
else none a unnnu nah get di likkle multi colour cheese sandwich dem
and it a go sponsored by street vibes rum. <–better dem learn from early fi stomach di worse calibre alcohol ever!
….and finally….given the name…am i the only one who has contemplated the potential furor that would ensue if the child grow fi look like di boyfren best fren?