no sex in the champagne room- final week

I have officially declared my entire body a no fly zone
Due to my vow to give up masturbation for lent I am now a human explosive device
I think if someone should blow on me too hard…
To da moon!
I am in constant deep and earnest prayer
I have taken to wearing skirts to minimise crotch-al friction
I avoid most VH1 soul programming and most Show Time original programming <–that TVMA rating is no joke
Dem a duggu duggu nuff inna dem show deh!

and I can make it through the days
But the nights
Dear Lord the nights!
Its bad enough I have to coexist with my own deviant mind with only the nanny or everybody hates chris to keep the demons at bay
But the wait until I am asleep to attack me
When I am asleep
My defenses are down
I can't fight bad thoughts mid slumber
So far several celebrities I have no attraction to
People I've met randomly
And co-workers
Have made their way into my nocturnal freak list
An is always di one dem me swear me nuh like enuh

And its one of two scenarios…
1) I'm throwing myself at the person like a big ol sketel <—and dat is not like me caw me love gwan like me sh*t can mek patty

2) We're searching desperately for somewhere to have tings and can't find anywhere so we squirm around in absolute frustration <—please can tell me why smaddy woulda dream bout NOT havin sex

In my mind the second scenario is about what I'm going through now, and the first one is about what may happen if I am anywhere with other humans when Lent ends

Perhaps beach j'ouvert is a bad idea…
The last thing yu want is gate fly + alcohol + paint and rubbin amen
Praises be to Allah I will be stayin home

Pray fi me
I are not goin to make it
But I must!
And due to how me mind a gwaan
Me cyaan even sleep fi avoid di situation
Bwoy puppa jesus
Da Lent yah mek it
Trus me
Me more dan purify
Me a pure glistenin clean and holy pepper!!!


5 Replies to “no sex in the champagne room- final week”

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