things i like about being Jamaican – rainy mornings

what i enjoy about my country is the absolute certainty that if it rains…78% of us will be coming in late for work

this may be something that happens world wide but i can only speak for here

also, in the rest of the world, people seem to have more faith in their alarm clocks

for them the process is kinda like this

*snore*

*alarm*

*mutter* christ… already

*turns to his snooze bar and realises its dark outside*

*looks at clock and realises its in fact 7am*

*makes a mental note to wear galoshes to work and snoozes for the pre authorized 10 minutes before  getting ready for work

in Jamaica it goes more like this

*snore*

*alarm*

*mutter* cho r*ss man

*cracks one eye while turning over to give the snooze bar a big lick*

*realises its dark outside and DESPITE the fact that it is the rainy season, assumes the alarm must have been set wrong*

*looks, through one matta encrusted eye at the phone/clock*

*due to the one eye ting and the matta obscurring their vision all the numbers blur together and it does indeed look like its saying 5am*

*breathes a sigh of relief that there are to more available hours of sleep*

*falls into a sleep so deep not even their co–workers calling can wake them* <–you know the after alarm sleep a di sweeeeeetest

*wakes up at 9am* bumbo! sas crise! me late!

*heads to the office and finds that though it is now 10am there is traffic and a crowd at the sign in book*

*breathes a sigh of relief seh a nuh dem one late*

*discusses at the length the evils of going to work on a nice rainy morning like this*

*makes plans to go home early to make use of the hopefully rainy evening*

ohhhh yeah

i loves my country

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