yes, it’s international nerd day here at mooretalkja, not to be confused with geek pride day , which we will be celebrating in two weeks.
for some reason i woke up feeling the full force of my love for our socially awkward brethren with the large IQ’s.
and here at mooretalkja, i’m not only a nerd stan, i’m the nerd president. (*chuckles and snorts, i made a funny*)
nerds of the world unite!
anywho…gone are the days when nerds had to hide in cool dark places <–much like medication
playing mortal kombat while breathing loudly <–for some reason dem always have respiratory problems
and fiddling with their pocket protectors <–you need something to keep the 4 mechanical pencils, pen and scientific calculator together (what is it with nerds and mechanical pencils)
while looking over their coke bottle bottom glasses and picking their zits.
now they play world of warcraft, in…cool semi lit places, wear contacts, have proactiv and have evolved past needing calculators and pens and pencils. they have customised voice activated smart phones for that now.
and even if they haven’t….we still love ’em. well i do
yesterday’s nerd looks like this
Today’s nerd looks like this
yes, that is Ryan Leslie, and yes he is a nerd, he graduated from Harvard at 19 with a first degree in commerce. mek me see yu top dat…oh he also delivered the harvard oration…yes. big old nerd.
anywho, the main appeal of a nerd has never been about his looks (well I personally enjoy pasty, tall, thin people with interesting teeth and skin conditions, but i have come to realise that this is a preference shared by only me, i am actually considering calling it a fetish, but anywho)
the appeal of a nerd is his (or her, i’m not sexist, but boy nerds are far more exciting to me)
big beautiful brain.
I found a like minded person in the blogosphere and i would like to share with you some of their teachings <–like the Buddha
with certain corrections, additions or explanations as deemed necessary
first…to avoid plagiarism….the original can be found here http://www.amindstretched.com/2006/02/top-10-reasons-nerds-are-sexy.html
and now….the list
The top ten reasons nerds are sexy
i shiver with excitement at the thought of sharing the truth with the world
10. What you see is what you get. Nerds don’t do phony.
ok. i don’t know about this part here. i know quite a few nerds who a live cayliss life like everybody else. you would think their social maladjustment precluded them from being shady and wheeling and dealing people’s emotions. but you’d be wrong. them can play mind games and fake it like all the rest. they may, however, get bored of it sooner, or choose not to bother with it at all.or avoid the need for it by dating other nerds
9. They come through for you. Nerds know all about awkward situations. They’ll come to your rescue anytime you need them.
this is kind of true, nerds do tend to stick together and form a safety net around each other. if you’ve ever been up against the popular kids, like a bag a dem just show up, all shiny and golden brown, and a you one never go maiden cay last weekend, yu will understand wah me mean by awkward and in need of rescue. plus, they fight so many computer generated villains on a daily basis most of them think they’re vanquishers of evil anyways. (i’d like to take this moment to dedicate this last item to Noel, vanquisher numero uno)
8. They peak later. Muscles don’t last; minds do.
yaaaaassss *tambourine* *dougies all over this one*
if me see one more person weh did hot inna high school and pop down now…massey!
me memba enuh, all who did inna third form wid 5th and 6th form boy friend, start go session from dem a 12, and now dem face fava peple foot bottom and dem body DONE. and me just watch my nerd fren dem a get hotter and hotter. Nerd FYAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! all di yute dm weh used to weigh 90 pound and a bench press three time wah dem did weigh inna third form now. Yes Jesus!
7 .They think about sex. To paraphrase a line from Revenge of the Nerds, “Jocks think about sports. Nerds think about sex.” I know who I’d rather spend the night with.
*shalama shalama* hallejesus! it are the gospel truth. aside from armageddon sex, nerd sex is the b-a-d-d-e-s-t
you show me a woman who’s dating a man whose passion in life is to figure out how things work and then learn to rebuild them better, faster, stronger….and i’ll show you a woman who’s having multiple orgasms on the regular. Think about it, the more thought you give to something, nuh di more ideas you have bout it? ok, now imagine he’s applied Pythagoras to your…well your lady bits
6. They believe if something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well. Think about what that means when what they’re doing is you.
please see #7
and please recall that nerds end up in ivy league schools, in order to get to ivy league schools, and places like cambridge and oxford you have to be the best, in order to be the best you must have competitive zeal….now imagine someone in search of the perfect score, if you will, and a you a grade di paper.
A for effort
now, for the home work
5 They’ll never take you for granted. Women don’t line up to go out with them, so they’ll knock themselves out to please you.
Jury’s still out on this one, nerds are kinda hot right now. But in theory i guess what it comes down to is substance. They didn’t have everything handed to them, socially, like the popular kids, so they had more time to develop and learn about themselves and other people as well. So they will be kinder and more considerate. and as we said before, there’s nothing like picking up several boof, to make you unlikely to boof people. unless of course things go awry and you get:
the vengeful reformed nerd (VRN)...this is a former nerd who has fallen into a good wardrobe and a hot body and by virtue of these things (and possibly some great sexual prowess developed through years of study) can now get nuff gyal. well these things and…and a big schlong <–it’s rumoured many nerds are well hung, i’m not in a position to speak on this, me keep me summn principle.
the VRN now seeks retribution through his genitalia for the many years of being ostracised. he dates ‘hot girls’ <–read popular, exclusively, usually the women who shunned him in high school, or better yet, their younger counterparts <–nothing hurts quite like knowing you’re old goods. They are usually serial daters and treat women with scant regard, thinly veiled by something resembling swagger. They may still have social anxiety but cover it up under a strong silent type demeanour, metrosexuality is mandatory. if you see one of these heading in your direction…
hide yo kids
hide yo wife
4. They study–everything. While an ordinary guy might spend hours with Playboy, a nerd will more likely pick up a copy of the Kama Sutra.
this is no joke….a..friend of mine, was…involved in a sexual encounter during which the nerd provided her with sweet sweet oral…pleasure <–PG, we keeping it PG
during their second encounter she found herself bawling like a baby and ripping up the mattress, she even had to relinquish her usual drill sergeant like behaviour because there were no instructions she needed to give to the nerd. at the end of the encounter she was of course sweaty, thirsty and confused. when she asked the nerd just how he did that he explained that he had memorised her rhythm….yu know wah him jus say to har?!?!
seh him memorise when she want it harder, faster, harder and faster at the same time, all a dem summn deh, from giving her h….oral pleasure one time di man remember everyting weh she like and gi har before she ask. next time yu see a yute inna di corner a di library, don’t laugh and walk past, stop, say hi, and ask him if him know when di next star wars convention a keep. believe me, yu a go thank me.
3.They have long attention spans. When something fascinates them, they can spend hours exploring the subject. Consider the implications when the subject is: you.
have you ever tried to assemble a model airplane? <–if you is a nerd don’t waste the time to say yes, just prepare fi pop yu collar.
yu know the concentration it tek fi do dat? yes. and how many days them siddung hunched over di likkle kit, wid di tweezers and di glue? if yu know weh me know, u put on a tin foil bikini and go lie ding pon di table and wait til him come home. when him walk een say you came in for an emergency landing and you think you’ve sustained damage to your rudder and if him tink him can fix it.
if yu waan mek it authentic. say nyeeeerrrrrr like plane
den tun up di radio
2.They have small egos. You’ll never hear a nerd say, “Hey, baby, how ’bout it?”
you may not hear them say that, but do not try to engage with them on any subject they feel they’re informed about. they rarely concede a point and, when it comes to matters of their brain, can be arrogant. also because they don’t spend as much time considering ‘social etiquette’ aka pretending to agree with someone when you secretly think they’re a dumb ass, they can come off as harsh. but relationship wise, they usually aren’t so snitty.
#1 They’re big where it really matters. What’s the sexiest part of the body? The brain. This guy has the imaginative firepower to fulfill all your fantasies, plus all the ones he’s dreamed up, you lucky nerd lover, you!
pretty much, what’s the point of having that big ol’ truck if the navigation system isn’t even smart enough to get it around the pot holes…precisely, none
give me a motherlovin motherboard any day over that manual abbacus style sh*t
or better yet, something that looks like a small car but is secretly something else.
autobots roll out!
viva la nerd!
oh, and here’s what it looks like when a nerd goes into a music studio…oh i wish i were a keyboard
i ❤ nerds