dear blackberry users of the world (nudity clause)

If you put up a picture of your naked tittays or your twig and berries, your heavy T bumpa in a thong, or any other genitalia/sex organ
Please expect people to share it with other people
Oh yes.
Now I know some part of you is feeling violated by the fact that I’ve said this, and you’re probably in the middle of self righteous indignation as we speak.
For the emotional turmoil I apologise
But think about it this way: yes its your blackberry, but you have invited other people to it YES YES we know you’re soooo popular that you’ve never invited a single person, they all invite you
Six a one half dozen a di other
Once you add people your BB becomes at least semi-public
Think about your BB list
Would you knowingly walk into a room with a nipple hanging out if everybody on your list was in there
I know, you took steps to make it tasteful, you draped yourself in fanciful sheets like aphrodite and made sure only half the nipple showed
Then you were clever enough to crop the picture in such a way that only half of the half show
Gold star for you.
But as you must have known when you put up this failed attempt at being provocative, people have a fair idea what a tittay looks like, and if they think they’re looking at one, they’re gonna enlarge, we just naturally faas

And I know, you think because you put it up at 12:30am and will take it down by 6am then no one will see it
You will have just had one unbidden night of exhibitionism on BB and tomorrow you will return to your genteel schoolmarm exterior

Unfortunately, just as you are up doing effery, so are others
If you are me, you are up doing effery and looking out for the after dark effery people try to sneak by <—your insomnia hours working for you

Now I’m neither the type to save nor share these things. I have enough scandalous pictures of myself in my phone, I don’t need to add yours to the mix
But oh wise one, please rest assured, that at least 6 men on your list have saved and sent this picture to two friends -with your name attached because when you save profile pictures the name automatically goes with it to two friends each
(Or just saved it for when he needs someone to fill the starring role in his jergens scented dreams.)
*tissue please*
The captions may vary
The thing they think about you may vary….maybe not by much
But please
Don’t you ever
Get it into your mind
That at any time it is safe to put up a nude ass picture of your tittays on BBM without the risk of them achieving even minor fame as a result

Right now, 15 man know di size and dimension a yu areola and yu screen name too
Let that wash over you as you lay in your satin sheets and contemplate how good it feels to be bad
It could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare, either they all got the pics of your boooobbbssss (8)


Disclaimer- I am in no way judging bb nudists, some of my dearest friends are bb nudists. And I have been known to have the odd down the shirt shot herre and there <– always classy, I’m a lady son.
But if you must be a nudist, be an informed nudist.
Not the deluded type who doesn’t know notifications exist and that’s the first place people look when they’re bored and its late.



2 Replies to “dear blackberry users of the world (nudity clause)”

  1. look here … a friend of mine was most disturbed to hear that her BBM picked was being discussed by some of the managers at work … afterall they werent on her contact list!!! she was shocked and actually sat there wondering who does that and said that the people on her list wouldnt go showing other people her stuff… i wanted to ask her if she was stupid and forgot that people can forward stuff or just show the pic off to everyone they see.

    i deleted her … stupid!

    1. exactly
      i doan know why
      and is people who dem work wid deh pon di contact list too
      no sense
      of course by me wake dis mornin di picture change….she was in stealth mode i suppose

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