uptown vs downtown (and its not what you think) tax office madness

why is it that once you pass the clock and head towards port royal things go back to the dark ages?

today i called the tax office…the one in constant spring. my trusty accountant had lost the record of my company’s statutory deductions.

I spoke to the woman there to ask her for some kind of record from their side, she took my info and went and checked and called me back.

when she called she hadn’t found it so she, while i was on the phone, took some more info, went into the system, did some checks, and advised me that the info wasn’t there, try downtown.

So i called downtown, the man that answers speaks at a rate of three words per minutes, i repeat the same information that i gave to the woman in constant spring.

he needs it absoutely clarified WHO lost the things. i guess if i lost them i would be denied the reprint as a form of punishment.

he then noitifies me about several things he CANNOT do and winds up the list with the one thing he can do.

Ok, fine

so now i must send the request in letter format…..

ok, would you like that by fax, or e-mail

no, in letter format

i pause, confused, are you trying to tell me that in 2011 this man actually requires that i mail him a request….like…a real mail.

i ask ….is your system different from constant spring?

to which he briskly replies that he does not know their system (which is bitch speak for: me nuh plan fi do nuttn weh dem do, so nuh call dem name to me)

i am somewhat confused, i believed we had one tax system….

who to tell, the uptown woman may have requested a letter to actually turn the info over, but at least she tek di five minutes to search before asking me to waste time and money writing letter and sending bearer there.

me done tell di man me nuh even sure a fi him office it pay, but him nuh look euh, no. me mus sen ppl fi go stan up fronta him wid quill pen ink pon piece a parchment paper before him mek a move.

kiss me teeth

so i suppose he hears the uppity confusion of those that live in the information age in my voice and decides to throw me a bone…when the bearer comes, maybe they can get it back same time

da nuh mean say yu coulda look fi it same time now before me send di bearer?

and then we are confused why inna tax office haffi look so

because the telephone and internet that are supposed to decrease crowding by siphoning off the queries and concerns into the appropriate areas, and solve what can be solved without a visit, are being used to place lunch orders and ask for curry gravy on the fry chicken.

i can just hear it…. the click click click of the abacus and the friendly neighing of the horses that he rode on to work.

kiss me rass teeth


10 Replies to “uptown vs downtown (and its not what you think) tax office madness”

  1. Hi C!
    What you mean “lost the record of stat deductions”???
    What about the file copies of all the receipts from Tax Office… is that what is lost?
    Or was it an electronic doc?

    Trust me, Tax Office nah go help you either way.
    I think you could/ should check the Revenue Services Center… 907-3442… I think that’s where was called when we had to prove that stat payments were indeed made.. you will get some run around and laziness…. but I think that office is supposed to keep all the years’ worth of statutory forms (the ones you complete at year end)… and I think they are responsible for paying out any money the Govt may owe a company.
    Given your above experience, it’s worth a try.

    I hope you get through.

    PS> I had a similar incident today, where someone suggested I should send the letter by fax or hand deliver it. I asked if there wasn’t an email address I could send it to, and was told no.
    Shrug. So much for technology.

    1. chile…dem los’di receipts
      di man say him can gimme some statement
      once him get the scroll.. *side eye*
      tax help hotline is so much better than the tax office
      they should really consider re-staffing wid ppl from the hotline

      thanks for the info

      1. I think the Tax office staff are specially trained to be how they are.. they would turn any really meaningful, helpful person into (generally speaking) a bitch of arrogance and rudeness…

        I hope you get through!!!!

      2. a true
        dem trained
        i will not deny the fact that interacting with the jamaican public on a daily basis#just makes all the niceness trickle right outta your booty

  2. This is really unfortunate. Just yesterday I idly decided to e-mail the Tax office in Constant Spring for some info and to my shock and amazement I got a reply in less than 10 mins. I was so excited I sent back an e-mail expressly offering my gratitude and then something even crazier happened… I got another e-mail from them saying “You Are Very Welcome” – I looked around my office for anything to indicate I was still in Jamaica. I was SO proud and happy.

    Which makes your experience with the disparity between uptown and downtown business practices in the Tax Office so disheartening. Just when I got a glimpse at a progressive, polite, efficient Jamaica … this fool wasting your time has me shaking my head.

    Oh well, persons who choose to do things the “old” way will eventually get left behind, lose their job and then blame government. There’s really not much hope for them. It’s just a pity we still have to depend on this idiots. Thanks for sharing.

    1. thanks for reading!
      :)#its true, some people you just have to wait until they phase out
      was that reply from constant spring directly? or the tax help line
      the tax help people are AMAZING
      polite, efficient, every time i call i think its a machine answering because the people are so polished and polite.

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