yu ever wonder why in the movies

after you go through a traumatic experience

or if you show up at someone’s house unexpected in the middle of the night

or if you show up at someone’s house unexpected in the middle of the day

they offer tea?

caw why

i know, it’s supposed to be calming and blah blah blah

but if me just missed being clobbered to death by a fallen building, or just wrestle me way outta some dungeon weh smaddy did have me lock up inna

di last ting me wasnt is a cup a red rose tea

me need a cold pepsi wid a whoe heap a ice <–also good if your captors have been starving you because it will buss off di gas

or a malta fresh from di fridge <–if me a wrestle wid any human or creature, me a go need fi buil back me strength

or a strong strong rum <–because i just lived through some madness, i’d say that’s cause for celebration!

but me nuh waan tea

and anodda ting… me nah seh me travel nuff, me passport have more empty pages than full….but me nuh see people a drink tea so inna real life

so, who is this based on?

aside from queenie.

me show up a people yard all different time a day and night <–cayliss living is the best living

and never once dem offer me tea

dem never once go a dem cupboard and start root roun and a mutter bout dem fresh outta earl grey

a fridge dem go and start chip ice or twist ice tray as di case may be.

so why?

every body curl up wid steam a blow inna dem face.

no sah, dat jus a go mek me face feel moist and nasty and like it waan wash

an suppose dem nuh have no condensed milk?

me jus narrowly avert death, the least me deserve a some condensed milk

i’m just sayin man

dem need some variety pon dem set yah, caw tetley nuh have so much powers weh me come from

if godzilla land outta baywest and me mek it through

try bring yu cooler

lef di thermos inna di car