things that only happen to me- mobile bermuda triangle

And when I say mobile bermuda triangle I am referring to two things
1) The before unknown space in my car between the back seat and the…shelf like area behind the back seat….I think the official name for it is ‘above the back seat’
Yes, anyways, between there so and the seat, there is a space, that does not open into the trunk
This space just leads to behind the seat
And in case you’re wondering…no, my car does not come equipped with one of those seats that tilts forwards
This space just created itself
And in there I found pieces of wood
Crown moulding
And lots and lots of dust
Imagine my surprise as I rest my phone ‘above the back seat’ <—i like the way I make it sound like that’s allegedly the name
But I put the phone down and hear boof! No phone
Di phone done drop pon granite and concrete since day enuh
Fly di trunk, no phone
Look inna di back, no phone
One mind say….despite the fact that the seat nuh tilt forward, tilt it forward
Boops! See di phone deh
Moral of the story is, never underestimate my ability to lose things or your car’s ability to be a drug  mule
2) The second mobile bermuda triangle is my own personal no man’s land that seemingly travels with me and allows me to lose no less than three items per hour….excluding keys, cell phones and other run of the mill misplaced items
Pens pencils
Granite samples
Clothes galore
Motor vehicles
People’s homes
All disappear. I know where I left them, but they’re not there
I wish there was a way of marketing this skill but short of joining the mafia and making made men disappear…there’s not much I can do with it
(Nb. To all the slackers who snickered when I said I have a Bermuda triangle that travels with me and me keep on a lose tings inna it<—me know how smutty mind work, me have one too
Me never lose nuttn deso yet. Ok.
If anyting when yu come deh yu nuh waan leff, nuttn and nobody never go deh and languish, if dem nuh come back, a caw dem like it -end of ghetto moment-


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