what is that?
yu nuh have me phone number? if you don’t have my phone number you probably shouldn’t be at my house
i know you may have been driving past my house and yu mind run pon me
but don’t turn into the drive way…just don’t
call me…stop driving if you feel you will pass the house before the conversation plays out
call me and see if i am home and if i am in a state to receive vistors
yu know seh a dem foolishness yah mek me live inna red hills and place weh far so nobody nuh jus inna me neighbourhood
yu nuh know me life?
suppose me a do summn?
suppose a me lazy day and me nuh bathe or brush teeth since morning
suppose smaddy dede
suppose suppose yu nose was a doorpost would you just walk up and ring the bell?
i come from a long line of people dodgers
i have seen my mother crawl on her belly army style
tuck and roll behind her own coffee table
and dive on top off her off spring with her hand over them mouth and push them down to the ground
to avoid people who just popped up on the verandah
now….i don’t like to do it, but i will
and i don’t care if my car is outside and the TV is still on
thats not proof that i’m there
i could have just run out with somebody else due to some emergency
i could have left the TV on to confuddle thieves into thinking i was home
yu nuh <--corey todd style
so yu cyaan prove seh me dede
but for the sake of my knee caps that i will blister on the floor
and our friendship that will never be the same once i dodge you jehovah’s witness style <–me auntie a witness, me nah discriminate, but chhiiiillleeee yu know how it go sometimes
just call….even if i’m not in a friendly mood, i will probably agree to the visit out of courtesy and maybe feel better after. but what i will apprecilove most is the opportunity to brush my teeth, put on a head tie and sutff my dirty laundry into the oven or fling it into my bath and febreze the hell outta the living room….especially if i’ve been eating kfc <–there’s no such thing as an overshare where i come from. you know kfc makes your stomach go boom shaka lacka woi!