It has come to my attention that some of my friends are in foreign lands fighting feelings of being alcoholics because the sun doesn’t set there until 9pm and they feel bad drinking while the sun is up.
As such, I now present the international code of drinking-sub section C, which addresses protocol as it concerns commencement of drinking.
As an international drinker you are allowed to start drinking at whatever time is sunset in your home country. unless, of course, the country you are visiting is in a time zone ahead of your own and their sunset comes before your homeland’s, in which case their dusk is the marker.
Never use when the sun actually goes down. Alaska will have you thirsty as hell going through withdrawal for months.
It is frowned upon to mentally desert your actual home country in favour of one with an earlier sunset
While we realise that ‘its always sunset somewhere’ this is not a cereal ad so don’t get uppity
In the event of a day time social event: drinking is allowed to commence 3 hours prior to the event, provided the event starts no earlier than 12pm. In all other cases 9 am is agreed time of commencement for pre-dayparty warm-up drinking.
Mimosas do not count as alcoholic drinks and can be consumed whenever without guilt. However, one is not allowed more than 3 pre-9am breakfast mimosas because then you’re just trying to bend the rules and we’re on to you.
In the event of an all nighter- a night time event that lasts until dawn and well into the next morning-
The time up until the drinker falls asleep shall be counted as a continuation of the night before and none of the day drinking laws apply.
In the event that you find yourself, for no reason, drinking in the day time with no consideration for sunset, time zones or any of the above stated rules…
and get help
‘Cus you nah drink fi fun anymore.