who orchestrates these BBM theme days?

Yu ever wonder?
Middle name day
High school day
Pet name day
Where is the office building with the big white board and the 500 identical androids pumping out this endless list of things you’re supposed to put in your status message?
And are the offices region specific?
By the time the messages get to me they’re either written in patois or english so poor I assume it was written by a native patois speaker. <–this is not to say that we are the only people who massacre the english language, but there are certain …idiosyncrasies that are specific to when jamaicans are mashing up the language, and dem deh halways hinna me meches

I find this, like facebook, is some information gathering activity in which we are unknowingly participating
By the time dem done wid we dem know
Middle name <– usually used as passwords
Prep school <–also used for passwords but very useful in case someone wants to impersonate you
Favourite colour <–how many sites use this as the reset test question for your account?
Mother's name <—*side eye* I think I've made my point here

Now, I understand that anybody who's known you for longer than a year would know this. And a lot of this would be living on your resume and sitting in many 'if anything comes up we'll contact you' trays in offices across Jamaica.
But is there any other place where you have this very specific combination of personal details swimming around together?
Except for facebook which we done know a straight babylon system?
Probably not.

The androids are watching
And they're getting impatient
They wanna become real boys
And your identity may be just the one they need



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