this ever happen to you? phone incognegro

Yu ever code anybody name inna yu phone
Under a name that is not theirs

(Yes me know u a wonder what kinda triflin-ness would lead me to have to do that, we may as well get it out
Plenty people inna me life have nickname and me put dem in unda dat
But due to how dem have all three, sometimes me nuh memba which me put dem unda
Also
Sometimes me have people weh me a talk to
Weh people nuh need fi know me a talk to, worse if dem ugly and all dese tings.
And since dem always a run fi answer phone me haffi throw dem off
And also
Depending on how much you have done to wrong me in the past
I may have coded you under beelzebub
Or memnoch
Or dutty crotches
And if I wake up today and feel pleasant towards you
I may not feel like calling you spawn of satan
And my memory may lapse as it concerns which of his minions I was calling you when last he spoke) <—yes, all of dat go inna one bracket

So
Me code di people dem inna me phone now
And time come fi call dem
And me spen 5 minutes a try memba all a di tings dem weh me ever call yu inna yu life
And finally resort to scrolling through my phone and opening all the strange names and hoping something in the number sequence looks familiar and is di smaddy I am looking for
Which could have all been avoided if me did jus put yu underr wah yu name
Or at least summn wid di same initials
But no
Anyting weh come a me mind.

Sigh
I doan know if these tings happen to anybody else
But dem happen more dan regulah to me.