things that piss me off…so, di ex now…

when people unnecessarily and without prompting volunteer information about your ex

like…why?

me tell yu say me waan know every detail a dem life?

me tell yu say me waan know how dem a hug up and a kiss up pon?

who dem deh wid?

wah di baby fava?

how happy dem look?

if dem look pop down (well maybe this one you could volunteer)

but why?

look i don’t know about anybody else, but when me and smaddy leff, there is usually a period of either awkwardness, bitterness, or all out gutter nastiness

during that time i may speak about the person incessantly until i grow sick of their name and never want them mentioned again (for the next 3-18 months)

or

i may not speak about them at all

if i’m not speaking about them at all…take a cue….nuh mention nuttn to me

if i am speaking about them excessively…yu still nuh fi mention dem to me, when me bring dem up yu jus say uh-huh, ok, dang i can’t believe they did that

nuh carry dem name to me

and i will not carry your ex name to you

me see people dweet to people aready enuh, and me hand a scratch me fi box di dem dem enuh.

smaddy siddung deh a mind dem business and a sekkle off dem heart

and here come dis one fren, dis ONE fren, who know how di story go and all a di drama

and despite dat

dem come,

‘sas crise, yu nuh see (ex name) and (new smaddy name) a hug up and di most tings and bear palancin pon facebook

*eternal scorching side eye of death and damnation til yu body all start decompose and worm start nyam yu*

really?

you thought that was gonna be wise?

a either foo-fool yu foo-fool

or yu purpose

either way

ONE HOT BOX yu a get

steups

look here, fi me and me fren dem, di rule is as follows

allow five years to elapse, and then, timidly, whisper the exes name to us

FIVE YEARS!

and seven if yu a mention di new ooman

cho!

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