the correct use of the word ‘no’

now, this evening something goes wrong with…a small appliance of mine that shall remain unidentified lest doing so will reveal the identity the subject of this post<–i am trying not to be a jaggobite you see

ok so…the small appliance has stopped working and i am trying to source a part to get it fixed

because i live in mobay which is a technological hell hole or gold mine depending on whether you are the buyer or the seller

the part is not available

so i take to the interwebs hoping i will not have to pay $3000 to import $800 worth a goods

so, since me join every group known to man pon facebook <–in case a rainy day like this occurs, since me know me mash up tings regular

me type di first few letters of the…appliance, and of course a group come up selling parts fi di appliance

so me read through now and start get excited say yes, dis is it, me a go find di summn pon di same land mass

if this works out it will make up for the 7 notifications a day i get about sales, new stock, old stock, stock weh in between and mus sell before it transition…all dese tings

find one number and call.

di smaddy say hello? <–the inquisitive hello weh imply say dem nuh know di numbah

me say hello, are you the person who sells the (small appliance) parts on facebook

them say: no< — jus dry so, no sign that there is any kind of recognition nuttn

so me start feel say dis poor person mus a get a million calls sake a di wrong number weh deh pon facebook

ready fi commiserate and tell dem bout how friday evening time noise used to inna me head side caw me home phone numbah come een like pizza hut <–and yes i did take orders and offer bread sticks

or me say…a me dial it wrong

so me ask dem, is your number (insert number here)?

di man say yes. <–dry same so, jus like a piece a toast

so me say…oh, well, they have your number here on facebook <–ready fi tell di poor ting say him need fi talk to di people dem, or worse , me will go talk to dem fi him, he must be so fed up!

di man say oh….i don’t sell (small appliances) ANYMORE

.

.

.

hold on here now, u mean fi tell me seh yu USED to sell di summn dem, YOU put up di facebook page and nuh tek it down since yu change yu mind and gone sell guinep a road side, and me call YOU and say di name a di PAGE weh YOU used to administrate and you still feel fi tell me say a nuh YOU me a look fah?

a who?

yu duppy?

yu twin weh yu absorb inna di womb weh nuh live inna one sac pon yu neck

who?

is like if smaddy call me and say ‘hi are you associated with mooretalk?’…and because dem tek off di ‘ja’ me say oh heellllll naw, a nuh my ting dat

*montegoniansideeyeoftechnologicalidiocy*

steeeeuuppss

and after all is said and done a go mutter to himself ‘i really need to take down that page’

yu tink

eeh?

it have bout 5000 ppl inna di group

yu tink one a dem a go call yu?

gimme di damn number fi yu replacement and mek me go bout me business

eejit

no, means no, never happened, nil, zero, zilch involvement

it is not interchangeable with not anymore except in the case of transsexuals, once dem change it just done

get me?

cho!