I HATE CROCS
no offense to any of my readers who wear them
but I HATE THEM
they are hideous
they make your feet look like 4×4’s or barges, or trucks or hooves
yeah yeah we get it, they’re the most comfortable shoes ever
is it worth it to be seen in public wearing what look like plastic orthopaedic shoes? Please see actual orthopedic shoes below
No offense to people who wear orthopedic shoes, but plenty of them nuh cute…why would people choose to wear the uncute ones?
is there like a new corrective footwear swag that i didn’t know about?
and, honestly, how many hours are you spending on your feet anyway?
i understand if you are a nurse or some related profession that requires you to go pounding down a hall way 25 times a day and doing millions of rounds dispensing aspirin
but do you really think your trip to sovereign is gonna so be high impact that it’s valid?
and worse….do not try to come to a drink up at me yard wearing them
are you 5?
will you be carrying your sand bucket
everytime i see someone in crocs i mentally picture them as an infant on the beach with a dirty water logged diaper
(why cant we be, like story book childreeeeennnnn, ooohhhhhh)
needless to see it is impossible for you to look me while wearing these!
custom made foolywang to make a bad situation worse
now its not bad enough that you’re wearing what looks like your own personal oven for cooking up toe cheese, but you want to embellish it. yes, Cars characters and skulls and cross bones <–for what, to make the crocs gangsta? steups
to give it your own personal flair?
regardless of how thin your legs are crocs make you look like you have cankles
and they make your feet look like SUV’s
whyyyyy can we not see this?
to their merit the crocs people are rolling out many other products such as flip flops (i’ll allow them)
and now some kind of high heeled dressy number (the jury is still out)
but like the many people who were scarred by Cable and Wireless and cannot bear to think about even renting a LIME phone
it’s too little too late
your initial friggery has left me too scarred
down with crocs
and please don’t think you can par wid me while wearing them
if you’re not in prep school
or know how to perform a tracheotomy or draw blood more than seven times a day
NO NO NO
mercy said no
and so do i
me done talk