have you ever been on a phone call (minute minder)

and the one minute warning comes up

(yes, i have a pre paid phone and yes i am sometimes ambitious with my calling, assuming i have waaaayy more credit than i do and when me go fi chat, yu cyannat stop me unless a you name network and yu just cut me off!)

so the one minute warning goes off and what happens

yu think me can just remain calm and finish wah me a say like a sensible smaddy

no sah

now the entire conversation is about the fact that is only one minute leff

as in

‘girl me feel say we fi go beach sat day and chill out and’

-you have one minute remaining on your call

‘uh-oh, di ooman just tell me say a one minute me have (talking extra fast) den stop, me nuh jus buy credit a while ago, how me fi have one minute leff. yes, jus before me call yu me buy $200 credit. no me nein call nuhbaddy else…wait deh

*dawns on me that is now 30 seconds leff*

*begins to shout because that will push the words stronger and faster across the credit barrier*

yes yes, a true, me call jodi before me call yu a tru, but dem nuh have 25 after 5, damn liyad. cho, me cyaan tek dem enuh, damn tief. so weh we a seh, beach sat

-i’m sorry you have no credit remaining  for this call-


see deh, if we did jus remain calm we coulda done di call from time and discuss all weh need fi discuss but no, once di ooman voice come on we inna panic. everybody tun eediat and nuh know whe fi do.


or maybe a jus me

anyhow jus know dis, if me deh pon di phone wid yu and di one minute summn come up a deaf yu a go deaf cus a lone shout me a shout and talk like tongue twister from there on in, yu  a go spend half a di time a seh ‘eeh? wh yu say?’ cus  a hyper mode me gone inna from deso.

unless of course you are not a friend of mine in which case i will pretend i am going into a bad area to explain the inevitable ‘unplanned’ disconnection of the call in approximately 45 seconds

don’t judge me, well yu cyaan judge me caw me nuh feel bad

a wah?


2 Replies to “have you ever been on a phone call (minute minder)”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s