dear man in the piece a car that is blowing at me

*eternalsideeyeofhotdeath

now, let me ask you something

(and believe me this is the only place you’ll hear it because HELL NO!!! me nah come nowhere near yu car)

me look like hooker? no, honestly, me look like a prostitute to yu?

i am wearing a tank top, a work skirt and some slippers. i look like a woman doing some casual banking.

is that the new street walker look du jour

no?

yes?

no.

ok

then why do you think the appropriate way to indicate an interest in me is to blow your car horn and signal for me to come over while still being seated in your car?

eeh?

a wah?

wolf raise yu or orangutan? and me not even a drop dem inna it because even di chimp dem know say dem fi pick ticks and bug offa dem partner fi mek dem feel nice a day time

yu woulda see yu modda a road a walk and blow har down so? or yu woulda come outta di car and go talk to h…yu know wah, maybe yu woulda blow har dung

be that as it may

me nuh go by candy or luscious or fat pumpum jean

mi is not a street walker so don’t treat me as such

or

the other option is…yu really feel this is the way to approach a woman

*shudder*

you, siddung comfortable inna yu car, wid a/c a blow, see me a walk past, decide say yu interested inna me and the most energy you are willing to expend is to press the horn, and wave?

and me now mus tek up my good good self walk over to you, come lean dung inna car window like me a sell guinep and draw long bench fi receive the sub par lookin from yu?

steups

look here, if yu interest inna me nuh warrant you steppin outta di car, nuh bodda waste me time

me nuh have time fi people weh only half interested, lazy and furthermore nuh have no couth

tree nuh grow inna me face

donkey nuh bite me

and even if i did, clearly yu like di forest and di teeth mark caw yu a blow me dung

have manners!

you cyaan waan look me and me a do all a di work fi walk come over and all dese tings

man jump outta car inna di middle  a traffic fi me already so yu coulda stink

and yu not even look good

bottom line

if yu see me a walk a road and me nuh look good enough fi yu feel say yu haffi come outta di car

nuh bodda say nuttn to me

caw me nuh drink half soda

me nuh eat half a fries

and me nuh tek half lookin from nuhbaddy

stink

like yu nuh have no idea how fi approach woman

and this applies whether y a drive lada or x5

YOU waan ME

you come fimme

ok?

ok.

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