here is how i know i’m word monk-ish (dictionary.com)

I am at my fruit lady/market woman- ms marva-icking up the second installment of fibre (di man never come wid di cauliflower earlier and me nyam ripe banana like monkey)
and she gives me the book to write what I’m getting and the price

I break here to tell you that this particular activity gives me oodles of joy
I am literally like a 5 year old just mastering cursive
I imagine Ms Marva’s veggie book is one of those old school writing books with the wide spaces for the capital letters and the narrow ones for the common letters
And yu waan see me
Brow furrowed in concentration
Tongue sticking out the side of my jaw
Head leaned to the side
Focused on writing down apple banana pear and yellow yam
I don’t know if I think there will be some inspection of the book and if my writing is found lacking they’ll kick me off the island or something
But I really do clap like a seal every time she gives me the pen and act like its going to be graded by ms trenchbull

Anyways
So she says ‘me a gi yu cantaloupe me baby….’ (Marva call everybody baby)
And then
*.*
*blink blink*
Me cyaan memba how fi spell cantaloupe
So I write it like it sounds
Cantelope…
No! Ok. Soun like a u in there
cotch een the u between the o and the p
No…summn still nuh sound right

Now this is where I pause to remind you that I am literally standing at a fruit stall
It is a little wooden something with linoleum decoration
(Although miss marva stall dainty still. Shout out to ms marva!!)
It aint that deep
I coulda let it ride
Many people have received onians
And skellyons
But no
Monk kick up inna me and me start imagine all the people who may browse marva’s book and see the misspelling
Worse!
My name is beside it
So you know what I did
I fired up my dictionary.com app and got to searching
Survey says its cantAloUpe
And I did scratch out and correct everything and write back di $400 beside it
I realised then and there that my psychoses has me by the short and curlies
And the UPT did print out inna me forehead
But I don’t care
Suppose ms jackson who teach me inna grade 4 see me a misspell fruit?
She strict enuh
And me sure all now she woulda tek di ruler and slap me
Me nah tek no chance
Dictionary.com me ting deh
Ms jackson haffi proud
And mrs francis too!!

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