things that piss me off – you good right?

What exactly is the appropriate response to this…greeting?
Is this actually a question or a statement of fact?
And what does it imply other than your complete lack of interest in the person’s response?
I find this particular phrase to be running around freely in the uptown
It was a crowd favourite at calabash (RIP)
And generally flourishes anywhere there are a multitude of people in loose fitting linen garb and designer sunglasses
Its also big at all inclusive parties especially the kind with pleather couches and miles of sea foam green fabric on loan from Pings to create ambiance

It goes like this
(walking along trying to balance three drinks because I don’t intend to go back to the bar anytime soon, I glance up to check my GPS and make sure I’m on target and won’t circumvent my friends or walk smack into a herd of prancing dancers )
My eyes connect with someone I know from high school or university or someone I used to par with but don’t really speak to anymore
I am more than prepared to pretend it didn’t happen
But if we must acknowledge each other I have my nod and half smile at the ready
I drop ’em off and I keep movin’
But no…you feel obligated to make some kind of conversation
You don’t REALLY have any interest
Neither do I
But I’m big/bitch enough to admit it
But I guess you get points for every person you greet or something so here it comes
You: teeth, oh hiiiiiii!!! (Insert name here if you can remember it)
I haven’t seen you in so long
(Insert hair flip if its a girl, and maybe some guys I don’t judge)
You good right?
Sometimes I’m tempted to say no, just to see what they’ll do
I suspect it would be a friendly punch in the arm and an ‘it’ll get better’
(Hair flip again)
Look here
I don’t like polyester clothes
Fake titties
Or fake people
We both know we don’t give a shit about each other
So why pretend
If you ask me how I am
Let it be because you give a damn
If you don’t, just say hi
And leave it
But don’t hit me with the dubious-intentioned-superficial-elite-assed
‘You good right’
There is nothing good about that to me
And I was good right up until you said it


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