late night fun frigidaire style

*Enter kitchen
*Scratch self
*Turn on light or open fridge
*Survey
*Grunt
*Scratch self <—why are we so itchy at night? Mystery enuh
*Think about what to drink
-Pepsi- too harsh
-Water- but me mouth taste like mouth, me nuh waan drink dat
-Kool-Aid – too much sugar me haffi go brush teeth again
-Beer- cho, cyaan bodda go open nuh bokkle
Hmmm
*Scratch self
*Start to close fridge door
Suddenly…
Milk.
Hmmm, I haven't had milk in a while
And it is cold
And milky and so delicious, and its 1% so its virtually fat free
Hmmm. Milk. Yes. That's what I want
Why did I ever stop drinkin milk its so awesome?
Where's the glass?
So far
So
Very
Far
Hmmmm
*Open carton
*cast furtive glances around
*is satisfied only the dogs are watching and they can be bribed with bully beef
*Pour milk directly into mouth making sure not to backwash
*hear a sound and jump accidentally backwashing
*Put carton back in exact position
*look around again, feelin kinda fool about jumpin like an eediat.
*Takes one last scratch
*Consider washing it down with some milky mouth flavoured water
*G back to bed feeling pretty smug because no one will ever know what happened
*Prepare for morning when you can gloat about the fact that someone may be drinking your cooties
Suck on that!mwahahhahahahhahahahha
*Snore

And that's how we get our late night kicks here at chateau de mooretalk

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