how to know you’re lazy – remote control

A while ago I accidentally changed the TV channel
I tried to change it back but I realise that the remote has become very selective in its old age
It will not channel down
It will not allow me to manually enter the numbers
It will not allow me to turn the TV on or off
Essentially the thing will only allow me to change the channel upwards and set the sleep timer (sometimes)
So…I accidentally changed it upwards….
I figure I’ll just keep changing channels until the cable feed appears on another channel
I skip 5 channels then I get comfortable so me start press gas pon di remote now. hold down the button and enjoying a lazy man’s adrenaline rush as the channels go zooming by. this is the closest i will get to luge or jet skiing or any extreme sport….don’t judge me.
Channel 14 flies by, that’s the second cable feed….no more to look forward to.
Decision time…I could walk the 7 feet to the TV
I could just keep channeling upwards and hope the TV doesn’t get to 400 before I realise its a bad idea

So….channeling up. We get to 100 and summn and it restarts
We’re so busy speeding through the dial we miss channel 3
What do we do?
Channel through the hundred and sum odd channels again
Because this keeps me in the bed
And that’s all I need
Ahhh the sweet lazy life
And my athletic thumb
Don’t mess with me
I will take you down bruce lee style nigga
I exercise this shit daily!

my thumb is on some INSANITY P90X shit

you don’t want none of this!!

the rest of me however…..


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