so dem animal crackers yah now….

today i had a pack of animal crackers…yes animal crackers, the same one dem weh used to pack inna me lunch kit side a di black speckled banana. i believe the key to a youthful face is having youthful foods in your stomach

plus i never matured much past grade 3.


can we move on now?


so…me a eat di animal crackers now and yu know di fus ting yu haffi do:  tek dem out and line dem up and march dem inna circle like circus

and den di next line a business a fi bite off di head dem and go rawrrrr <–yes i eat them like i am in kindergarten

but when me tek a stock me notice say some new addition gwaan inna di bag. now me know say tings haffi change, like kartel skin and brandy hairline, but massey, me tink me crackers would be spared.

imagine my surprise when me look inna di bag and buck up pon dis:

now, tell me what is tookin place here. yu nuh see say summn wrong

who all a dem people yah

yu nuh see say dem stray from di original cast?

dis come een like when dem did remake FAME





awrite mek we tek a closer look pon wah really a gwaan yaso


rat bat or fruit bat or the count from sesame street

or edward from twilight

me nuh matter a who yu a call it

when since me a nyam tings weh heng upside down inna cave inna me snack


fus ting, me fraid a rat bat so if dem did in deh from me a pickney me woulda fling weh di bag long time. rat bat nuh friendly or cute. wah dem a do yah?



is what dis?





yu nuh see di people a di animal crackers plant a get loosey goosey wid di design. tek een di foot dem

eeh? a wah dis?


and what scale is being employed?

in what land is the frog bigger dan di lion

wha mufasa haffi say bout dis…not even di same size enuh

frog tek leaps (nyuk nyuk nyuk) and bounds over simba

a me one see di issue here. when di pickney dem go a zoo now, and nuh undastan whaa gwaan, a fi we fault enuh caw we a teach dem bout hippo-frog





so me a nyam cave dweller

giant frog

farm animals

and pre historic creature.

what era animal crackers come from?

i find dem summn set inna di same time period as rihanna’s man down video weh people have blackberry but a walk wid dem dulciemeena grip.

circa any time you want

(altho me nah lie, me love di dinosaur dem)

and finally…the rooster

whose tail is the same size as him

at first i thought he was an owl then i noticed the very prominent chest to imply that he’s cocky…therefore he must be a cock

(thank you UC120)

what i enjoy most about these new fangled animals is that no matter what them be, all a dem look like dem a wear desert clarks. ready fi trample babylon

chilleee i don’t know what to tell yu

of course yu know the discrepancies never stop me from nyam dem? not at all

di rat bat and di cow decide dem cuddn be fren. cow go befriend sheep/goat/whoever

we decide say dinosaur a di socially maladjusted student inna di class and sen him go siddung inna di back

rat bat have anger issues and can only talk to dinosaur caw a dem one evolution figgat

and hippo decide say she fluffy and nice and a look off all a di guys

and den me nyam all a dem


likkle chilrun of today unnu a learn more dan we, after we eat animal crackers all we did fit fah a tun farmer. unnu can go work a museum and zoo

walk out

talk up to me animal crakers, a nuh oreo one can evolve


3 Replies to “so dem animal crackers yah now….”

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