yu know who confuse me …. wah yu did plan fi write di number with?

people who call yu fi ask fi phone number and never have pen nor paper ready….

yu ever wonder bout dat?

now, i don’t mean someone who calls with the intention of speaking to someone and can’t find the person and has to take a cell number

i mean someone who calls you or your office and says ‘hello, my name is xyz, and i’m trying to get a number for -insert name here-‘

so when me say ok and start reel off numbah now….why dem a go tell me ‘oh wait hold on there, let me get something to write that down’….is wah…yu did plan fi lodge it inna yu memory and yu brain crash?

or a so long since yuh nuh come offa yu cell phone yu figgat say writing tek pen?

and why yu nuh jus code it inna di phone?

dat come een like u go fi tek common entrance (yes common entrance, me aged) and nuh have no #2HB pencil

why yu nuh have nuttn fi write it down?

so while yu gone go search now, put down the phone and a holla so me can hear bout ‘just a minute the pens are playing hide and seek with me’ like dat supposed to cute

me de yah a tink bout all a di tings me coulda be doing wid dis time you are wasting

so when you come back now, faux panting because of the effort it took to locate and lift the gigantic pen…and me gi yu di slow blink and the professional bitch sotto voce…nuhbodda gwaan like yu feelings hurt caw yu did fi expec it

when yu a go call people office and tek up dem time please me prepared

or if yu unprepared, tek di shame outta yu eye by listening to the number and then rushing the person off the phone so they don’t interrupt  your silently repeating the number to yourself so you won’t forget it while you search for a pen.

me will tek di rushing

no problem

but me nuh waan listen to yu play ben down stucky wid pen

a nuh play ground





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