big ups to my BFF JKA at http://phoenixxpointdevue.blogspot.com/
for co-blogging on this one
no shade, and i don’t want anybody to think this is any kind of matie rebellion (un-cue the tifa), dis can go either way. we are more on di side of the person that is receiving the bullsh*t talk, but as we understand it, usually when di bullshit a sling inna one direction, a likkle piece bruck off and a sling ova di odda side
but somebody ever a tell yu some tings, nice tings, LOVING tings, tings weh fi mek yu heart go boodum boodum
but when yu siddung an look inna it yu find some likkle glitch
like neo inna yu ‘relationship’ a unplug people and a cause problems?
well we see it too
so we have compliled a little list, of things that people are liable to say to you, that we would wish them to reconsider, especially within certain situations…and by certain situations what we mean is dem don’t deh wid you and not makin’ any effort to deh wid yu right now, or any time soon for dat matter… maybe never (but we don’t wanna be bitter)
however, dem would like to have you
tie out like goat inna field holding on, so when dem ready for you dem can come back.
due to how is almost new years
cobweb a brush out
wall a white wash
and all old tings a dash weh
and good tings a dash out (selectively, we don’t cayliss wid it)
new we seh fi 2012
di tings you are likely to say and tings you should consider before sayin dem
run di track!!!
1) i love you and i will never leave you
– yu deh wid me?
-yu mekkin any effort to deh wid me?
-yu know wah dat entail?
-how close are you to deh-in wid me?
-are we there yet?
-the love have any tangibility?
-if me have me period and need smaddy fi buy ice cream, yu available? (and if yu come, yu a borrow har car or she a go drop yu off?)
yu read di job description? yu up fi di work? (she help yu undastan di terms? she agree, a she a di witness?)
2) i will always come back for you
-where yu coming back from? (and she know where yu goin when yu leave)
-where did you go and why?
-if yu plan to come back why bother leave?
-is a one way ticket or two?
-is by plane or knutsford express? (a she get di miles or you)
-a she pack yu bag? and she fold or she do di roll like oprah say?
-suppose me nuh de yah? (yu a go kotch by she fi di night til me come back)
-yu a go tell me when yu a go come, or me mus guess? (or me can ping her and she tell me? group chat?)
-yu have a itinerary? me can get a copy? fax me, text me, e-mail me, ping me.
3) i love yu enuh, the timing is just not right
-it right now?
-when it a go fix?
-me mus just wait?
-daylight savings time? mountain? pacific
-wah bout when yu meet smaddy while yu a fix? di time did right fi dem?(she deh pon mountain? eastern?)
-me need a new watch? duracell? energizer?
4) me nah worry bout right now because we have forever
-we are not peter pan though
-only death is guaranteed so…back to the itinerary
-world a end inna 2012, we jus get weh inna 2011 come een like forever well sticky though
-me face nah go last fi ever tho
-di breast dem nah stay up fi ever tho, me’da like fi perky inna me weddn frock
-so…if we have forever, wah yu have wid she? las week?
-eternity she seh?
5) is you, you are the ONE
-one gullible ass
-one hopeless romantic that you took advantage of with sayings like ‘is you’?
-could we substitute ‘the one’ with now… aka is me NOW?
-so she is two…cus one plus one is TWO.
– you beyonce a talk bout?
6) I just feel a connection to you. i can’t even explain it. you just live in my heart
-where? in the back room?
-so…like how we not together, yu plug out the connection?
-try explain it, me nuh sure me undastan
-can’t explain or won’t?
-should i wikipedia it? us?
-yu have a splitter box so yu can connect to two one time
-one deh pon meter and one a bridge <–how come?
-yu have delco roun a back?
7)being with you is as easy as breathing
-yu have asthma?
-yu a deep sea diver, cus yu not wid me and yu breathin fine
-so…bout di nex lady now, she easy as pumpin blood?
-she a resuscitate yu a night time?
i have a feeling this list is to be continued. this is just the first draft. but please read and think before you speak and a spike heel or summn equally wicked land up inna yu head side
don’t say we never warn yu
-c and j