rihanna you da one aka pat yu! and call yu man naaaame

no bah bah

me cuddn mek more dan 24 hours pass before me address dis

not inna di crismus yah

clockwork forehead drop a nex song

and the subtext is

pat yu p*ssy and call yu man naaaaame. <–hollas out Jesus caw me single yu fret. Jesus one a move mountains down deh. shalama shalama

anyways. i digress

so

due to how she a pat har front like she have explosions in deh #BOOM!

due to how she grab it up like di last hardo bread inna hurricane time #GIMMEDAT

due to how she a dash it out like overnight soup weh stay pon di stove and spoil #LAAWDDD

yu know me feel me know more bout har chunny dan chris and jay-z tho <–yes i said it. yu tink a fun mek beyonce mawga down so?

jay-z love gyal wid accent

and since him baby modda a video vixen

him love scally wag

a nuh jesus tell her fi get up and start dance fi him

and fit up so she can spin pon fan inna di heels wid di baby inna belly

yu nuh notice from riri she and drake a play up inna di serge island milk har hand ever south by south east

yes man

she decide seh if everybody else seh cleavage

and nicki minaj seh bumper

a she seh…. ‘lady bits’! but she a try cute wid it (sidebar: there is no cute way to pat yu front. i know. i’ve tried)

in other news

her stans will like it <–hai gurl haiiiiiiii. rihanna reign like portia crown. just won’t let up

her haters will hate it <–she don’t necessarily make it hard

her accent is making an appearance again  <–every album she set a little more free like when gun man hold people hostage

so is her ‘birthmark’ <– i doan waan hear one night fever joke!

…ahm

yeh we’ve covered the rihanna basics. pretty much

oh

and a she say british punk barbie <-don’t hate. a nuh fi har fault har stylist dem have overseas subscription and she just jump inna anything dem gi har. even wah look like black garbage bag (Lord…….i said that, now dem a go bomb up me house inna dem camouflage and last season red wig0

go girl

andy warhol never see you comin

#shade