when in love (1)

there are many things you can be for your lover

but you cannot BE for your lover

nor should you ask the person you love to BE for you

burdens are meant to be shared, but we must first attempt to carry them for ourselves

backs are strong even when silently breaking, however we can carry another another human but for so long before we begin to damage ourselves

the best thing we can give to a person we claim to love, is a lover that is as much as possible healthy and balanced or at the least striving to be

i am not saying you cannot break, i am not saying you cannot be bruised by life, i am not saying you should not turn to your lover for support. lovers are there to share

what i am saying is work on yourself, for yourself and then give your best self to the person

take yourself seriously

take yourself personally

hold yourself accountable for yourself and then to the person

not the other way around

and do not expect anyone to pull you out

it may seem too simple or too complex but its just the way it seems to me

i have carried lovers and had them carry me in return but the burden is only bearable on either side if it is buoyed by the knowledge that the work is being done to lessen it.

i have tried to be better for lovers and have had lovers try to be better for me but no improvement sticks unless you do it for yourself.

you are their lover. you in your totality. work on yourself. work on yourself for yourself and then for them


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