how couples rule the world 1

you read right this post is about how couples rule the world.

Right now me deh a airport and me a realise say when they get to the airport couples have the option of joining two lines and choosing whichever one seems to be moving faster.

Actually this applies to anywhere with more than one line….di next place yu see it plenty a mega mart
Can bun me when me inna me line and smaddy in front a me wid dem two long hand-til me assume dem a buy ice and credit- only fi when dem reach a di front smaddy drive two cart full a tings in front a me and den tek out di mega cash voucher dem
Yu know how di voucher ting go don’t? Manager haffi call and ppl haffi a select weh fi put back because a voucher dem say and dem nah spend cash so now we haffi reshuffle basket and select what stays and what goes

When dem encounter the lines
They get a look of couple glee on their faces as they realise their shared life is about to pay off again
The first pay off was being able to rent prime real estate on an average salary

The second was never having to haul themselves out of bed to cook themselves chicken soup when they’re sick. There’s someone there to do that
Yu ever haffi pamper yu sick self yet? Pathetic.

The third was never having to go investigate things that go bump in the night alone

ThE fourth was being able to afford an SUV on mid range pay.

The fifth was …well you get the point

So their eyes light up and one….usually the girly one….goes scampering off like a forest animal in a newly discovered clearing….to investigate what freshly unearthed bit of beauty the world has to offer

Single people, however, forfeit their space at the risk of never being able to return so they either run aggressively across the room- because the act of moving in the first place is a commitment in itself…no investigation roun ‘ere!

Or they stay and spend twice the time in the airport

Either way they look stressed and haggard at the end of the exercise while couples are happily chupsing in the fast moving line secure in the knowledge that buying into the system and acquiring a long term ‘monogamous’. mate will always leave them bathed in the rose gold light of self satisfaction

Woo hoo

Needless to say I’m writing this from the slow line

As the woman from the couple in front of me runs off adventuring and discovering on their shared behalf.

And the couple in front of them gaze into each other’s eyes and kiss at 1.5 minute intervals.

There’s are no words for how stink my attitude is

Yes thanks

By the case

No chups!


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