Mek we talk bout dis now
When a company decide say dem a go mek some giant chocolate buddy
Where me mus place dat inna me mentals
Is it feminist?
Are women taking control as a show of power to the patriarchy that’s held them back for so long?
Is it penis envy?
Are women buying bigger and bigger phallic signifiers because as freud claims they desperately want the twig and berries and cigarettes aren’t cuttting it anymore?
Is it porn?
Its valentine’s baby eat a dick!
What is it?
And are men buying vagina shaped chocolates for their friends?
One ting me want yu know enuh, a detailed work dis
Because dem use white chocolate fi add di….detailing out a di tip
Yu know wah
Maybe a me biased
Maybe this is not even about di man dem
Maybe this is about straight women combining two a dem favourite ting – penii (that’s the plural of penis) and chocolate
And honestly wid all di stress man gi ooman dis a probly di only time a ooman a go able fi look pon a penis widout wonder when it a go tun gainst her and bruk har heart
How yu eat it?
Slice it up wid knife and fork?
Jus bruck it?
Jus bite it?
And fi di man dem now
When yu a buy
Yu buy di same size as yours?
Or yu mek sure buy smaller?
And wah if it bigger dan yours, does it change the meaning of the gesture from a gift to an apology for your shortcomings?
And white man buy white chocolate? Wah asian man buy? Banana flavour? Suppose yu a brownin and she like dark chocolate who fa feelins yu choose fi recognise.
Dis complex enuh
Me nuh feel say ppl a tink tru dem summn yah enuh
Dem jus a dash weh di buddy cayliss and nah analyze
I need answers!
Or….I need to leave grad school
Happy belated valemtimes
Or happy belated singles awareness day
Or happy wednesday
Whichever yu rather
Have a good one
Jus gwaan chew <–see what I did there.