dear girl on the mega bus

Who turn roun fi ask me ‘does the bag have to go that far….because if it does then that’s ok’
Den if it ok, wah yu tun roun a ask me fah?
Me ask yu if yu meal haffi have so much garlic?
No
Because I am ok with you fragrancing the whole bus wid rancid garlic and vinegar
And even if I’m not okay wid it, me mek up me mind fi live wid it so it doesn’t even bear mentioning
I could point out that your section smells like and un-cleaned deli
I could speculate about your dating prospects since I see neither gum nor toothpaste anywhere on your person and each bag you open elicits an even more violent response from my olfactory instrument
I could muse out loud why yu never nyam di nasty smellin food before yu board di bus
But I don’t
Because ‘it’s ok’
So why when me bag mussi reach too far under your seat yu a go tun roun and ask me if it haffi go so far because if it does yu ok?
No reasonable person is goin to say yes it does, dem a go draw back di bag and put up dem foot pon it and spen di nex three hours wid dem knee inna dem chest
So…is move yu waan me move di bag and nuh know how fi say it
A-woh!
I see what yu is dween now
And me nah bodda bad mind and evilous enuh. For a your seat. Although who siddung inna bus and lap dem foot unda di seat I doan know
Mussi tek di how to be a lady classes and waan lap ankle and pivot di leg dem back and to di side.
No potential husband or wife nuh deh pon da bus yah so yu is wastin yu time
But….me dis move back me bag and genkly put me foot dem inna di aisle and gallang wid me day
But to you I say
Please seh wah yu mean and stop paraphrase
And yu nuh have nuh need fi a quiz people if something is ok
Awrite pungentia?
Tanks

Sign
The girl weh siddung backa yu a pray yu nuh fawt out all a weh yu jus eat

Jesus bless and guide me

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6 Replies to “dear girl on the mega bus”

  1. HILARIOUS! lol!!! yeah, that was the oddest passive aggressive statement ever: “does the bag have to go that far….because if it does then that’s ok”… i like my passive aggressives a little more passive…and less pungent. pungentia!!! HILARIOUS!!!

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