The uncivility of rape and the pressures we put on the victim to clean up the act

http://www.televisionjamaica.com/Programmes/PrimeTimeNews.aspx/Videos/21155

i’m especially moved by the woman who says she wasn’t comforted by family members when she went through her ordeal

often girls get no support when this happens to them
and when they feel brave enough as women they’re told that they’re bringing down the family name to bring it up now
that the person has changed and is a better man
why would she bring that up now?

the fact is…the man did what he did
the woman has been damaged
and if she feels to talk about it especially as a part of her healing, she should.
somehow we have become accepting of sexual abuse in our communities
and even when we don’t blame the victim we certainly put the pressure on them to have the matter remain ‘civilized’. so the family can keep its head up
theres nothing civilised about being sexually abused
and the family shouldn’t feel ashamed that this happened, they should feel ashamed about covering it up

there’s work we need to do here
women are not expendable
and how do we expect to move forward as a country when there is so much hurt and unsettled issues?
how do we think we can move Jamaica forward when so many women feel betrayed by the country and like their own countrymen/countrywomen did not protect them
no. there is more that needs to be done here

 

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One response

  1. Reblogged this on Burn The Butterfly and commented:
    I wanted to reblog this, because Carla so eloquently explains why I still have such a hard time with discussing our past. It’s such a big and horrible part of Jamaican culture, but such a reality. So… Thank you Carla for putting this out there.

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