on settling down

as 30 approached and passed and people began marrying…monthly they would just marry….i started thinking about settling down and why people do it and went through the cycle of longing and shade throwing that i think is almost standard for people of my age nowadays. but, i think i now understand one of the reasons people settle down and move in. and its very simple…when you’re in love, so in love with someone you cannot breathe when you are away from them, it just becomes more efficient to live with them. if you’re the type of person that a part of being in love is that you don’t want to spend a minute away from the person, going to work becomes an inconvenience, speaking to other people is a distraction…anything that does not involve being in love is a task but the task becomes more bearable when you know that between 6 or 7 and when you leave for work again you can spend your time doing what you want to do…chit chatting about nothing, looking in one another face….being together….or just around each other. you function better in the day knowing that option is available to you at night. on top of that when your time is limited you spend all of your time focused on being in love. depending on how your mind works that may act against you. suppose you and your partner have the type of minds that joust for fun…that hop from topic to topic with the greatest of ease, following each other like shadows…just being in love is not the norm for you….no matter how much you like it..a part of what you’re in love with is the industry of your minds and you want to let that out, let them go shouting through the fields…that is the act of being in love for you…but when time is short and you NEED to make it so clear to them…you know that you must imprint on them everything that they are to you…there’s not time for much else….but you still have relatives to visit and classes to study for and responsibilities and other people in your lives that you love and want to spend time with…but you still want as much time as possible with the person. going home to separate homes is just more time apart…more time you’ll try to make up for…so move in. set up a base. put 4 walls around the heart that beats for you and cast yourself out on lifelines into the world knowing you can come back to it, to find it there. make a home and from it look into the world. and then you can live and be in love at the same time. from this perspective i get it, i understand the importance of settling down, of a home. you can have the amazingness of love and deal with the other things as well….when you’re guaranteed that 8 hours….at home.

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3 Replies to “on settling down”

  1. Wow Carla. Spot on. I have been trying to identify with my own feelings and actions. I am newly in love, possibly for the first time, for real, for real – and it’s insane to me the things I feel. But, it makes sense now… what you just wrote explains it perfectly. those 8 hours… at home.

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