this is 30something

It’s a 4 day weekend and i’ve sequestered myself into my home with snacks, turmeric (to counteract the snacks) and the highest hopes of going nowhere until Tuesday.

There was a time I would have been rinsing paint from the crevices under my batty jaw and popping andrews like hope for a better world.

those days are done honey, at least for now.

do I feel bad about it? of course. people don’t hesitate to tell me how me old.

and do I feel old?

YES

a b*tch is living with chronic pain now as a very real reminder that time, like red ants, marches on.

am I happy? still not sure.

This is probably the closest I’ve been to it in ever though.

and so?

So I’m home. with a cold sore (yup, came out about those), reasoning with people online about being survivors of sexual assault (came out about that too), dealing with my anxiety (backside yes me come out bout dat too to raws) and being unsettled by the world but more at ease about my space in it.

This is what happened while I was gone y’all…and me love unnu long time.

 

cm.

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